ight Houseight HouseApologizing seems to be very difficult for many people. Some simply will not do it even when they realize that they have done wrong and an apology is in order. Many times a person’s feeling of guilt and sorrow is revealed in other ways other than a direct apology. Sometimes if a persons wrongs you and they realize what they have done and feel bad about it, they may be extra nice to you in the way they speak to you or they may step out of their normal character to be helpful in favors and good deeds toward you, yet an apology never comes. Perhaps they don’t believe an apology is necessary as long as they “make it up to you”.
Self serving pride is the barrier which hinders most apologies from being made. Apologizing is an act of humility, but it is certainly not an act of degradation. Pride can only hinder a person from apologizing when the person either views apologizing as a weakness or they perceive that others will see them as being weak and they care about what others think about them in that context. Apologizing is not an indication of weakness at all. Humility and weakness are not synonymous. Which requires more strength, more courage, and more back bone; to do something that is easy or to do something that is difficult and may result in being perceived by others in a negative way? Of course, the whole point is that it shouldn’t be difficult in the first place. Ironically the weakness is in our pride because the pride enslaves us to constantly strive for the favor of others as though they were our judge. It is true that other’s may in fact judge us but the only sentence they can hand down is their own criticism and ridicule. How contradictory it is that what our behaviors motivated by pride actually exhibit our weakness of dependency on the favor of others. Pride can have a controlling power over us. We will do all sorts of things to maintain an appearance of grandeur in the eyes of man.
Here are some things the bible says about pride:
When pride cometh, then cometh shame: but with the lowly is wisdom.
Proverbs 11:2In the mouth of the foolish is a rod of pride: but the lips of the wise shall preserve them.
Proverbs 14:3
Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall.
Proverbs 16:18A man’s pride shall bring him low: but honour shall uphold the humble in spirit.
Proverbs 9:23Thefts, covetousness, wickedness, deceit, lasciviousness, an evil eye, blasphemy, pride, foolishness: 23All these evil things come from within, and defile the man.
Mark 7:221These six things doth the LORD hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him: 17A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief, A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren.
Proverbs 6:16-19
So, to sum it up in one statement, There is nothing about apologizing that should make us feel weak nor appear weak in the eyes of others, and if it does, it is only due to sinful pride. Also, if apologizing is difficult for us to do for any reason, it is still something that we ought to do when appropriate because our priorities should be to serve God and please Him by living according to the teachings of His word rather than seeking to satisfy our own desires.
We can not have fellowship with God, when our fellowship with one another is lacking. The scripture below is a good example of this principle.
Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee; 24Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift.
Matthew 5:23-24
To speak plainly; if a Christian knows that he has done something for which he should apologize and doesn’t do so, he is in the wrong and his fellowship with the Lord is greatly hindered.
If a person knows they owe and apology and they do so even if it is difficult for them, I believe they will feel better afterwards for having done so. For a Christian who desires to have a close walk with the Lord, there is no greater feeling than doing something that you know is pleasing to Him. The peace you have from being obedient to God will always be more satisfying that the feelings of pride which hinder us from being obedient.
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